For the record, although this is another wedding post. I am not turning this into a relationship blog. I have one for that When Not To Say We Should Still Be Friends. However, after watching Dan Savage on Why He Wanted to Get Married and after having a very interesting argument with my parents concerning the purpose of a wedding, over the weekend, I find that once again my philosophical thoughts drift in a wedding way. At least this time it's the purpose rather than the setting.
I begin by stating that I feel government and church sanctioned weddings are all about the piece of paper. My mother says otherwise, that the purpose of a wedding is to stand up before friends and family (and sometimes gods if you swing that way) to declare your commitment. But if that is the case, I must ask, why do you have to sign the wedding contract then? Can you ask a church to allow you entrance, and a parson to perform the ceremony, without a wedding license? No, you can't. I've asked.
I believe, then, what my mother means is that a wedding and a marriage are two separate events combined. One is a declaration before those important to you, and the other is a signing of a contract to show to all and sundry how serious you are about the whole thing. Fair enough. And congratulations to all the blushing brides and love struck grooms I know and will know within the next few years.
You are taking a tremendous step.
So why the F*** does my standing up in front of my family and friends and signing a contract that legally binds me to another person count for nothing?
A marriage contract implicitly allows for another person to make your decisions for you if you cannot make them yourself, allows for the exact equal split of assets (if -another- contract, the premarital agreement, doesn't counter it) in case of separation, provides access to healthcare and insurance to each other and generally makes it clear that you're in this together. A legally binding cohabitation contract explicitly states that you do not have to make life and death decisions not previously discussed, because the executor of your will and living-will (who happens to be your sister) will do that, that acts as a premarital agreement in terms of separation, in a country where you can designate the healthcare benificiary and health insurance recipient, and -also-, in some contracts, declares that if he uses your GODDAMNED TOWEL again he must buy you a new one (for the first infraction, penalties increase upon frequency). So why is this CLEARLY superior contract, when signed in front of all of your family and friends less meaningful than a hastily scribbled signature in a courthouse down the street.
Thanks, Government, but I'll decide on the barriers and exigent circumstances that I require in my contracts. Also, my family is not full of nutbars so my Will will not be fought against in court.
I want the damned towel.
