Just Don't Call Me Late for Dinner!

I like nicknames. 

I have a nickname for anyone close to me, and if I don’t yet I will eventually. Nicknames are reminders of something, some connection I have with people: inside joke, call back to another time, long-term use variation on their common name. 

Nicknames are a commitment to the relationship and my doing my best to be in that relationship however we’ve formed it.

But I do not introduce my loved ones by their nicknames.

I obviously know the common name of anyone for whom I have a nickname. 

If someone is close enough to have a nickname, they’re loved.

If someone is loved, they're worth enough to be thoughtful of.

If someone loved is to be introduced to another person, it’s worth it to be thoughtful of the name that is best used in introduction. 

Hint: it’s common name, not a nickname. Why?

I do not insist on referring to them to others by their nicknames.

I mean, that’s just confusing for all involved. My nickname for someone isn’t the name other people should know them by. Especially if they will eventually be introduced but even if those other people aren’t even going to meet the nicknamed person. 

Names have power and meaning, and we cannot know when-how-or-if people will interact so it’s best not to impact those interactions with word-signals that mean something to one new person and something else to the other. 

Also, if we don’t acknowledge someone’s common name how do we show we’re referring to the same person? 'Do you know Mittens?' "No, do you know Frogger?" helps no one. 

My childhood name is a nickname. And my first common name became one too.

I don’t mind people close to me calling me by that nickname. I don’t mind long time friends calling me by the other name, either. But treat them as nicknames. 

Take a second before you say my name to others to make sure it’s the right name for the situation. 

Take a second before you teach someone a name that they have no reason to use.  

Please take a second, for me.

And please don’t complain that you have too many choices and I have too many names. I don't, and you have two choices: what you call me and what I call myself.

My name is Jay, and I approve this message.