Don't Fear Defeat But Learn From It!
I am NOT doing well in Latin class right now, and to be honest I'm slightly concerned that I will fail to pass...again. And if I fail to pass I won't try a third time. I will take French and pass in one term what I've attempted for three semesters, now.
I believe I have mentioned previously that I prefer to do what I think is hard, rather than what I'm good at. I like to try to do things to prove I can.
But I'm not stupid...failing a class twice is pretty much proof that it's time to move on. But, if I do fail Latin again and switch back to French, I will be extremely lucky in that the things I've learned in the past two years will be extremely useful not only in learning another language but in regular writing. I know more about grammar and composition now then I have ever learned in English class.
So I've decided not to be defeatist about the fact that I'm not doing too well. I'm going to learn what I can from it and go from there. And I find that this should also apply to everything else I do. If a friendship ends, or a relationship goes screwy, there's no reason to think of it as a failure, but as a learning experience. Knowing that I will never have children makes it much easier to say no to a guy asking me out now, even if he's cute, if he wants kids down the road. And this means I can pass on the advice to other people. So here's my advice for relationships--from a philosophical standpoint.
If you're old enough to start to care about what might happen in the future of a relationship, make sure you both agree in three things : sex, finances and kids. Anything else can be reached through compromise. If one of you wants a house and one wants an apartment--get a townhouse. If you want a huge dog (oh, say, an old English mastiff) and he doesn't like dogs--get an easily taken care of dog (NOT a long-haired energetic monster, either!) But if he wants children soon and you know you'll never want them or not for a long time (or want to adopt and he insists on biological) DON'T say yes to another date! If she thinks you should have your own bank accounts and each pay only your own bills and you think a joint account and a cash "fun money" allowance is the way to go DON'T move in together! If he is strongly monogamous and gets jealous at cuddles and kisses with friends at the club and you don't think he has any right to know who you're sleeping with on any particular night DON'T sleep together again!
Optimism is all well and good in love and relationships, but these three core ideals won't change (don't give me that sh*t about women changing their minds about kids, not wanting them and not being ready for them are two completely separate things!) Optimism in school is just as fantastic...but don't waste another year on something you just cannot do.
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